Encouragment, and Renewed Hope

We are all still alive! Olivia will be 6 weeks on Wednesday and even though we are still in the middle of this transition, and slowly creating a routine of some kind for ourselves, I can't believe its already been a month and a half!

Kaia is doing well, over all. We still have rough times, and there are moments where I feel like running away, but we are adjusting and doing. And what I see as the best we can. 

The last few weeks have been very trying, and very difficult at times. 

Having two at these ages is SO hard! The hardest thing I've ever had to do up till now.

Just as hard, and maybe harder, than I thought. I did have some great encouragement that came in the form of an email from very wise friend this morning. 

She really reminded me of what my job as a mother is. It is hard, but so rewarding. That I can have, and enjoy real Joy in these times. That its not like this forever 

- a mantra I keep repeating but having a hard time gaining as head knowledge - 

This morning @ church  Mark talked about our dreams and the great things that God has in store for us if we only listen and follow His dreams for us. It really got me to thinking, I never drempt of being a mother. I never wanted kids, I really didn't want more than 1! I now have 2 wonderful little girls that, even though @ times can be more than I can handle, make me smile and I love very much. 

I never would have dreamed that I would 1, have this, or 2, enjoy it so much! 

With that said, I feel like I have a whole new look and understanding on what I'm doing right now in life. Even when I want to run away, and I just don't know how much more I can take, or handle, or what I'm going to do if I have to listen to one more minute of crying and scraming I can listen to - this is what I'm suppose to be doing right now. This will so rewarding in the end. This is where God wants to use me, work in me, and work through me. 

This is my calling right now.