We just started a series called Bod 4 God last week. There were record attendance last week and we had a record attendance in Journey Kidz this AM too! Some great things are happening @ Journey - Queens, and all the Journey locations for that matter!
This morning Mark talked about our self image.
The topic I didn't want to hear about.
I like the twisted, self loathing, view I have of myself thank you.
But, he did a great job shedding some light on how wrong that can be, and thus spurring the topic and 'aha' moment for this post.
Hi, my name is Rebecca and I have a problem w/ compering myself to others.
*sigh*
There I said it!
Yes, I'll admit it, I compering and self analize, and ridacule and work myself into a tizzy for no reason more than I'd like to admit. The worst part is that I see myself doing it w/ my girls - and comparing them to others in their age group! I know, its sick. I already said I have a problem.
Seriously, w/ all kidding aside, this really is an area in/of my life that is a constant struggle.
'Look how good she looks! Why can't I look that good?'
or
'Look what a great mom she is, I want to be a mom like that.'
or
Why can't I have that life, they have it all, I want that.'
I think your getting the point. . . But now its getting worse, b/c I'm faced w/ all the things that our girls peers are doing, or not doing. I don't like the pressure of this one. I mean, its one thing to compare myself to others, but my kids? Come on, Rebecca, get it together!
So, back to what Mark was talking about this am - I really got hit w/ some truth. I can't keep doing this. God made me just the way I am, and wishing I was more like her, or looked like them, or had what she had, I'm just digging a whole and telling God He didn't make me the right way.
Thanks God, but I think you forgot something. . .
Hello?! No! I can't keep doing this. Plus its a great place to foster and grow bitterness - a quality I don't need more help w/!
So, how do I get out of this rut? Well, I think the first start will be to spend some more time w/ God, and really learning how to look @ myself, my life, what I do have, and being thankful and seeing it as a gift that God has blessed me w/. . . .
That sounds SO much easier that I know it is, I'm just being real! It's hard to train your mind and attitude to think and react differently than it would like to. It goes back to our 'self' and handing that over to our Creator, asking for help, 1hr/day/week @ a time.
Once I reach that place of being content w/ who I am - and not wanting to be/have/raise like everyone else, I know it will be a freeing feeling, and I know my God can do that in me - I know I can have that through Him!
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